where are you, Christmas?

dear santa,

i hope you got the letter i wrote, along with my christmas wish list.  please cross off the combination electronic simultaneous sooper-deluxe back/belly/ear-scratcher-treat-dispenser-poopie-cleaner-upper.  dad got a great deal on one during cyber-monday.  


to substitute, maybe you can ask the elves to build me a genuine coleco-vision game console with the "doxie-kong:  return of the poopie snake-slinger" game with the optional poopie snake-slinger controller?  that would be sooper-dooper-cool!  my atari 2600 has seen better days - "SOMEONE" (whose stuffed-toy identity will be withheld for security purposes) chewed through the cables of BOTH joysticks!  plus, the graphics are getting a little dated.  so yeah, a new system would be awesome!  


also, if you see anything about a bark-control collar on there, please ignore it - i think one of my toybuddies (maybe the SAME "SOMEONE" who chewed through the joystick cables) might've snuck that in while i was sleeping...

i saw on tv where you come down the chimney to drop off gifts, but BOO-HOO! - we don't have a chimney!  Elfis, our "elf on the shelf" said that doesn't matter 'cuz you'll find a way in anyway.  FYI:  you might wanna throw me a warning biscuit in advance so i don't bark and wake mom and dad up.  you see, i've been on security alert to make sure no one steals the ornaments from our tree.  i'll have a plate of rawhide and a glass of milk waiting for you!

-ramsay