The stomping ground of Ramsay the Dachshund!

Thursday, November 10, 2011

grave injustice

Our house has been a mess of late, as we have some renovations done.  New experiences for dogbert, indeed - not the least of which is the intrusion of the strange man with the loud toys and Australian accent into "the independent state of Ramsay-land-field-ville-ton-shire" and the disappearance of carpet.   He seems to be adapting to the chaos as well as expected....or so he makes us believe...

***********************************************************

A Public Service Announcement from your friendly neighborhood doxie-dog:

each year, millions of dogs across america are made to suffer at the hands of their careless humans.  there is no end in sight, as the unfortunate trend spreads across the country like a great plague.  i am speaking, of course, of the phenomenon known as "decarpetation":  the alarming human practice of replacing warm, snuggly carpeting with cold hardwood flooring - leaving the footpads and behinds of their beloved dogs to freeze!  

in my house alone, decarpetation has resulted in the loss of hundreds of feet of lush, toe- and butt-warming carpety goodness.  the few oases of warmth are limited to the carpeted floor mats in the kitchen, the area rug under the coffee table (which i love because it's green and looks like grass to me), the floor towels in the bathroom (which are cool and damp from mom and dad's baths - super UNcomfortable), and whichever of my blankets i manage to throw onto the floor (ie:  ALL of them - tee-hee!).
HELP!  i've barely got enough blankie to cover my tushie!
please report this to your nearest animal-police-officer-person so we can stop the insanity!  we may yet spare the footpads and tushies of thousands of pups.

on behalf of cold toes and tushies, and helpless carpet fibers worldwide - thank you.

-ramsay  
 (written with a little help from dragon, cousin hubert, and the stuffing-less husk of hedgie the hedgehog)

5 comments:

Nola said...

Oh no!!! Oh poor Ramsay my friend, I too stuffer from frozen butt syndrome! And you can't itch yourself on wood floors!
Kisses and Tail Wags,
Dachshund Nola
PS I love reading your comments on my blog

Anne Marie said...

was wondering when Ramsay was going to realize the change in his digs...but sliding Rams, extra length for sliding! Run...the slide! Run...then slide! It's great fun!! But be warned, Mom & Dad might get a little pissy about scratches in their pretty new floor...so do the sliding when they aren't home.

Amy said...

Oh poor Ramsay, I am very lucky that we have carpet in every room but the kitchen & bathroom, but my bathrrom has a very nice big rug in it for mommy's feet after she gets out of the tub:) Maybe Santa will bring you some more blankies for you to throw on the floor:)

*Jasper

docsdox said...

NOLA: omidog! you're right! i CAN'T scratch myself on the hardwood! i tried yesterday and ended up going in a circle! looks like i'm gonna have to hop on the couch to do it!

AM: i am perfecting the art of the powerslide when turning corners! i'm also learning how to put the brakes on to slide to a stop right before i hit the backdoor or one of the cabinets! mom and dad will have to bring me to petco to get my nails trimmed more often so i don't scratch the floors.

JASPER/AMY: LUCKY you still have carpet! i think blankies will be on my wishlist for santa this year - i LOOOVE when they're warm from just coming out of the dryer!

Three Dogs Long said...

Hi Ramsay.....our house suffers from the same affliction...not only are we forced to walk on hardwood floors.....but ceramic tile too!!

What were the hoomans thinking???


(((hugs)) your friends
Oskar, Schatzi & Xena